This week we will be mostly concerning ourselves with Billy Vunipola, extended seasons, French rugby and redundancy.
Billy Oh!
This column has filled many an inch (well, gigabyte) in attempting to ascertain exactly how much rugby is too much rugby. We now think we have a definitive answer: 36 full-fat fixtures in one season, culminating in a European final.
We arrived at our fag-packet figure whilst we watched Saracens weather their 37th outing of the season.
Don't get us wrong: Exeter ran out deserved winners in Saturday's Aviva Premiership semi-final at Sandy Park. They played an absolute blinder. But even the most devout Devonian would have to concede that Sarries were dead on their feet.
Just one week on from helping his club retain the European crown, Owen Farrell's touch deserted him. Maro Itoje revealed himself as a mere mortal. Billy Vunipola surrendered his Lions dream to his long-standing shoulder issue. And was Jamie George even awake?
Against this backdrop, Monday's warning from the Rugby Players’ Association seemed a bit superfluous. Of course plans to extend England's domestic season to 10 months from 2019 would have "serious implications". I mean, duh! They might as well have added that rugby balls are oval and that bears do their business whilst knee-deep in foliage.
But yet the message isn't hitting home. No one seems to get it. No one seems to care.
Even Lions boss Warren Gatland confessed to have pleaded with Vunipola to have a second medical opinion, even after being told that the offending body-part had developed a habit of "popping out" during recent games, even after being told that surgery couldn't wait until the back-end of July as previously agreed.
So are we the ones that are missing something? Perhaps extending the domestic season to 10 month could be the answer to all the game's ills. After all, the stewards of Premiership Rugby – they that guard the golden eggs – claim a September-to-June affair could help "us become more sophisticated in our individual management of the players".
They also claim an extended season would see "a substantial reduction in overlaps between Premiership Rugby and Test rugby through the season".
Well, admittedly, that would be ace. Diluted fixtures are a personal bugbear of this column. And one suspects that Sarries would agree: they would surely have been spared the trip to Exeter's raucous stronghold had they not gone down to the likes of Worcester and Gloucester whilst their big guns were off on Six Nations duty.
But we still don't buy it.
End-of-season tours – normally not far shy of a month long – would remain attached to the end of the season, leaving the average international player with just four weeks of annual leave. That's significantly less than your average desk-jockey.
Sure, Test stars will get more breaks mid-season (Premiership Rugby have declared that the 32-match limit for a player will remain) but the proposal totally overlooks the natural rhythm of the season, the need for a proper off-season and the various stages therein.
It's unsustainable and unreasonable and totally unedifying for a sport that pays such ostentatious lip-service to its 'core values'.
Respect? Are you kidding? Something has got to give, and it can't continue to be shoulders.
French disconnection
All the above said, English rugby looks to be the very model of enlightenment when set against the French game.
They chose to extend their season way back when Caesar still ruled Gaul, and they continue to take delight in watching wheels fly off as the contenders limp around the final corners of the season.
And now, to the spectre of burn-out and relegation, they have added instant redundancy.
In a move that should free up some cash for Louis Picamoles, Montpellier have told a further six players – Marvin O'Connor, Akapusi Qera, Pierre Spies, Robins Tchale-Watchou, Antoine Battut, Joffrey Michel – that they are surplus to requirement. That's now 12 in total, with more set to follow.
According to Tchale-Watchou, the news was delivered over sausages at the end-of-season BBQ. Classy.
Mohed Altrad, the club's billionaire backer, should be reminded that whilst his employees might sweat, they do not work in a shop.
Loose Pass was compiled by former Planet Rugby editor Andy Jackson
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