FORMER WWE diva Kaitlyn has revealed she “wanted to die” after opening up on her battle against drug and alcohol.
The ex-divas champion has spoken for the first time since she checked in for drug detox a year ago.
Kaitlyn – real name Celeste Bonin – was a hugely-popular member of the WWE roster during her four-year stint with the company from 2010.
She left the company in 2014 to focus on her marriage to bodybuilder PJ Braun – who she divorced in September this year.
The 31-year-old has suffered with a number of demons over the last couple of years and battled a number of addictions.
And now she has shared her story of her ordeal.
Kaitlyn said: “I remember getting out of the hospital feeling like death, with a medical taper plan of meds and thinking, ‘What have I done to myself?'”
“I celebrated my 30th birthday 5 days later and I remember wanting to die.”
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Kaitlyn spoke about how many people end up getting hooked on detox medication, but she opted to turn to alcohol to deal with her depression and anxiety.
Although she did not reveal what drugs she became addicted to, she insisted that she has been able to rebuild her life since facing-up to her problems in an moving Instagram post.
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Captioned with an old picture of her posing in front of a mirror, she wrote: “It’s been one year since I checked myself into the hospital for a medical drug detox. (I took this picture in the airport bathroom after flying into LAX. I felt so awful and disgusted with myself but I remember posting it on Instagram with some stupid caption about being happy. I was actually on the last days of the medicine to help me detox and was in a super f****d up place mentally and physically).
“Over the past few years I was in a terrible marriage, an addict and not true to myself. It took me so long to admit I had a problem… and then to admit how serious the problem was. I used to pretend to be and to live a certain way for social media. It’s everyone’s hi-light reel.
“I remember getting out of the hospital feeling like death, with a medical taper plan of meds and thinking “what have I done to myself?”. I celebrated my 30th birthday 5 days later and I remember wanting to die.
“If you’ve ever gone through serious drug detox, you know that you basically go through two detoxes. One from the initial drug(s) and then another one from the medicine used to help you detox.
“A lot of people get hooked on the medicine and remain addicts. For me, I started abusing alcohol to deal with the chemical imbalances, panic attacks and sadness/depression I was experiencing.
“If you know me, you know I had never done a drug in my life leading up to this (besides smoking weed once or twice and freaking the f**k out.) It’s so crazy.
“You can have the world at your fingertips but end up destroying yourself if you’re not careful. I’m fortunate enough to have pulled myself out of it all and was able rebuild my life …but I can seriously empathise with anyone who is, has been, or has a tendency to be an addict (we’re all addicted to something). But it’s about self awareness and humility.
“Never be too proud to ask for help. Be able to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror. Tag someone who needs to read this.”
Kaitlyn became WWE Divas champion in January 2013 when she defeated Eve Torres and held the belt for 153 days.
She lost the title to real-life friend AJ Lee before leaving wrestling to launch her own fitness clothing line called Celestial Bodiez.
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