THERE are bad football kits – then there are terrible football kits .
And then there are sheer attention seeking what-the-hell-were-they-thinking jerseys that, once you’ve seen, you can never unsee.
No, you will never forget casting your eyes over this calamatous corture – but not to worry, it means humanity has learned a great lesson: don’t mess around with football kits.
See these monstrosities below and let us know which ones you think are the worst.
Hull City (1992)
‘TIGER, tiger, burning bright’ as the saying once went.
This one might make good kindling alright. What the Hull were they thinking?
Athletic Bilbao (2004)
THIS monstrosity been designed by Basque artist Dario Urzay to mark the club’s centenary – and they only wore it in the Uefa Cup.
It was supposed to resemble a splatter of blood.
Well, Urzay sure as heck murdered it all right.
Caribous of Colorado (1978)
IS it any surprise that the team wearing this bizarre number racked up the worst record in the old NASL?
We’re not sure what is worse, the collar, club crest (on the wrong side).
No, no, surely the leather-look tassley stuff across the chest is what sets it all off.
This ain’t no Western cowboy-highwayman hold-up…it’s merely a stitch-up.
La Hoya Lorca (2013)
WELL at least if you were frozen out at La Hoya Lorca, you would be bang on trend.
That is because their third kit inthe 2013-14 season provided a backdrop of a set of peas.
Yes, peas. Like the ones you used to leave on your plate after a Sunday roast.
Word is they only did it to ap-peas the sponsors.
1860 Munich (2010)
FOR their 150th anniversary, 1860 decided to produce a reversible kit.
The problem was, both sides were absoultely rubbish.
Atletico Madrid (2004)
NO wonder Fernando Torres decided to leave Atletico Madrid back in the noughties.
El Nino just could not put up with kits like this from Nike – with a spiders web design – obviously designed to promote the Spider Man 2 movie. Remember Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire’s upside-down kiss? Well this was the movie after that one (no, me neither).
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The problem with this is, much like Atletico Madrid in the last five years, the movies needed a complete re-vamp and were re-made a decade later.
And much like the old DVDs of this Spider Man franchise, there’s only one place you’ll be able to find this forgotten Atletico Madrid kit: on the web.
Getafe (2009-10)
BACK in the noughties (again), the Burger King – i.e. a bloke in a rubber mask and a crown – would be superimposed on to American adverts, intercept footballs and score famous NFL touchdowns.
It really was quite hilarious.
The problem was, that was a campaign almost exclusively aired in America – and not Europe – and we play proper ‘football.’
So, when Burger King decided to print their King’s face on to the reverse of a Getafe shirt so that you could do a ‘Ravanelli’ and see the rubber royal himself, we Europeans were a little perplexed.
Even more bizarre was that they had their best season ever in La Liga and reached the semi-finals of the Copa del Rey – the ‘Cup of Kings.’
CD Palencia (2016)
WHO would have thought football could be fun AND educational?
Well just ask Spanish (yes, them again) club Palencia, who have muscled in on the odd uniforms market.
It should make pre-season training a doddle, just eat what you want and you’ll always have a six pack.
Pulled hamstring though? The club physio might have a few problems.
Cultural Leonesa (2014)
HAVE the Spaniards really NOT heard of the Spanish waiter jokes?
Obviously not, as they sported these tuxedo-inspired jerseys for the 2014-15 season.
Not sure what they were supposed to wear for the annual club awards bash, mind.
Cameroon (2002/2004)
CAMEROON have committed two corture crimes aganist football.
One was in 2002, when they decided to get their biceps out and wear sleveless shirts – as they did in a friendly against England, but the vest design was banned for the 2002 World Cup by Sepp Blatter.
So, they simply had to wear a tight-fitting under-layer underneath the Puma jerseys.
Then, two years later, Puma came up with an all-in-one uniform – which was just as baffling and was, again, banned.
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