SO what does a Manchester City player have to do to become Footballer of the Year?
Well, history suggests he would literally need to break his NECK.
Bert Trautmann, the heroic German goalkeeper who played on with that potentially lethal injury during the 1956 FA Cup final, was the last City player to win the award outright.
City’s Tony Book shared it with Dave Mackay in 1969 — but since then, 49 years ago, nothing.
Not when City won the league under Roberto Mancini in 2012, nor under Manuel Pellegrini in 2014.
And this time, with Pep Guardiola’s men likely to rattle up a record points haul, Liverpool’s Mo Salah is still hot favourite to win the gong.
We’re talking about the original Football Writers’ Association award here, so you’ll doubtless be imagining this is all the cunning work of the agenda-driven, London-based media.
And, yes, we do all conspire together on a weekly basis, with our fancy London ways, to work out how we’re going to derail whichever football club you happen to support…
But what about the PFA Player of the Year, the one they all want to win the most because it’s voted for by their peers?
Surely the actual footballers aren’t biased against City? Well, since that award was introduced 44 years ago, not a single Manchester City player has won it.
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OK, but the goal-scoring talisman of City’s glory years, Sergio Aguero, must have regularly made it into the PFA Team of the Year?
Nope, Aguero has NEVER been included in that XI despite seven prolific seasons at City.
And the last time they won the title in 2014, the PFA team included just two of their players, fewer than Liverpool or Chelsea — and the same number as Southampton.
But surely City’s managers have been decorated by their union, the LMA?
Again, no. In the 25-year history of the Manager of the Year award, no City boss has won the thing.
When Mancini claimed the title, Alan Pardew won it. When Pellegrini was champion, Brendan Rodgers was honoured by the LMA instead.
And this year there is every chance Burnley’s Sean Dyche could beat Guardiola, given the LMA’s tendency to go British whenever possible.
Of course, that award must take into account the resources at a manager’s disposal — and City’s bosses have been drowning in cash.
But there is no reason why a club’s wealth should impact on them winning individual honours.
And, anyway, Chelsea players have won three FWA and three PFA awards since Roman Abramovich’s takeover in 2003. An individual award winner needn’t come from the best team.
We know this because Tottenham have provided TWELVE Footballer of the Year or Player of the Year winners since the club last won the title, the same week in April 1961 Yuri Gagarin became the first man in space.
So the next time you hear a City fan grumbling that their club is hard-done-by, do not simply write them off as bitter grudge-bearers with chips on their shoulders.
Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not after you.
While Salah’s 30 Premier League goals — especially as a winger and a Liverpool rookie — make him an excellent candidate, the City duo of Kevin De Bruyne and David Silva are still more likely to make you purr.
Belgium midfielder De Bruyne’s back-heeled through-ball to Raheem Sterling against Tottenham at Wembley on Saturday was the work of a true genius.
He’ll be getting my vote.
And while Dyche has worked a minor miracle by leading Burnley into a likely Europa League place, Guardiola has shown more imagination and brought more joy, however much oil money has been sprayed about on his behalf.
So we really ought to vote for City’s title-winners this time — without the need for anybody breaking their neck.
PIG SIX OF THIS
DEPRESSING but predictable to hear the ‘big six’ are demanding a greater slice of foreign TV income — jeopardising the very competitiveness that makes the Premier League such a saleable asset.
The ‘big six’ of course includes Liverpool, who have won the top-flight title less recently than Leicester, Blackburn or Leeds.
As well as Tottenham, who’ve won it less recently than Nottingham Forest, Derby or Ipswich.
Oh, and if Burnley finish in sixth place, above Arsenal, they get that larger slice of the pie, right? No, thought not.
VAR SIGHTED
CONGRATULATIONS to Premier League clubs for voting against the introduction of the Video Assistant Referee (VAR) next season.
For once they’re in tune with paying punters, few of whom support the system — especially in its present form.
In the Bundesliga at the weekend, Mainz and Freiburg players were called back out on to the pitch when the VAR awarded a penalty AFTER the half-time whistle.
Yet Fifa have saddled the World Cup with VAR despite it tanking in every trial. They will get exactly what they deserve — chaos and farce.
LIONS SHELV FIXER
THE campaign to have Jonjo Shelvey included in Gareth Southgate’s World Cup squad has great merit.
England are likely to face packed defences in their opening two fixtures against Tunisia and Panama and the Newcastle playmaker has the most incisive range of passing.
Despite what you might have heard, Shelvey is no out-and-out wrong ’un either.
He is a dedicated footballer, the son of a committed youth coach, who brought him up to play the right way.
England don’t have the central-midfield creativity to ignore him.
LUMP IT UP, PEP
AFTER reading that Pep Guardiola was transforming not just Manchester City but all of English football, there was a patriotic and nostalgic glow around Monday’s West Ham v Stoke match.
Seventy-nine minutes of utter tosh followed by Joe Hart chucking one and big Peter Crouch bundling it home, then a humpty-dumpty ball to big Andy Carroll, who walloped in a late equaliser.
This sceptred isle, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.
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