WHO was man of the match at Stoke versus Manchester United?
Well, for me, the one participant who provided a near-flawless display over 90 minutes and contributed significantly to a belting, free-flowing match was Mark Clattenburg.
Yeah, the self-regarding ref with the over-elaborate hand gestures and tattoos commemorating his Champions League and Euro 2016 final appearances.
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Clattenburg was brilliant. He avoided fussiness, managed players masterfully, allowed a stirring match to breathe and correctly turned down two decent penalty appeals for handball.
They say the referee has had a decent game when you don’t notice him. Well Clattenburg was better than that.
He was so good that I noticed exactly how good.
We probably ought to say things like this more often because referees deserve genuine respect.
They do not deserve foul-mouthed tirades such as the one which former Notts County boss John Sheridan launched at referee Eddie Ilderton last month.
Sheridan was publicly shamed by the FA releasing details of his rant, which included the charming threat, “I’m going to knock you out, you c***.”
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It was a pity the FA did not do it sooner, whereby they might have dissuaded Oldham from hiring Sheridan after County sacked him.
The FA’s message, that abusing referees was unacceptable and will not be covered up, clearly didn’t reach Arsene Wenger.
Not for the first time, Wenger acted like a common yob when he shoved fourth official Anthony Taylor, having already been sent from the touchline for abusing him after Arsenal conceded an entirely legitimate late penalty against Burnley.
The Arsenal boss gets away with murder in his conduct towards match officials and rival managers.
He has a record as long as your arm and almost invariably escapes meaningful punishment.
There are some deep, dark, paranoid places inside Jose Mourinho’s mind. But when he says that Wenger is treated favourably by football’s disciplinary chiefs he is damned right.
Wenger apologised after Arsenal had been rescued by a refereeing blunder from Jon Moss which allowed Alexis Sanchez to score a 97th-minute spot-kick winner. Had they dropped points, though, he’d have still been raging at Moss and Taylor.
And it emerged that he had branded Moss ‘a f***ing cheat’ while fuming about the equaliser.
Wenger is football’s most petulant loser, bar none. He gets away with it because he’s so urbane and decent away from the heat of the moment.
But the FA must hit him with a lengthy stadium ban for this, sending out a message that you do not manhandle referees. Ever.
They should do it on behalf of grass-roots refs like Mancunian teenager Ryan Hampson, who claims he has been butted, punched and spat at, and is leading calls for a nationwide referees’ strike in March — an idea attracting widespread support.
Most managers believe the only way to regain respect for refs is to strip them of their status as sole decision-makers and roll out the use of technology.
So we are indebted to Tottenham’s Mauricio Pochettino for brilliantly expressing the counter-argument.
Pochettino said: “I would not understand if football were to be stopped like in tennis when they use HawkEye.
“Football is dynamic and every day it should be more dynamic, vibrant and intense.
“If we are going to stop all the time to make decisions, we will distort football.
“A 90-minute match can last more than two hours if they stop the match a thousand times. Everyone will fall asleep!”
Pochettino is spot on but few people are listening.
The torrent of disrespect towards referees is not just damaging on a personal level, it will end up altering the very essence of the world’s greatest game.
Referees really should all down tools in March. Because without them, there is no game.
And many people — Wenger included — need reminding of that.
ROSS McCORMACK, the Aston Villa striker never good enough to play in the Premier League but whose last two transfers totalled £23million, cried off training last week.
He claimed he was stuck inside his mansion because of a fault in the electric security gates needed to keep Second Division footballers safe from the great unwashed.
Meanwhile, supporters of Arsenal are attempting to sweet-talk Alexis Sanchez into staying by unfurling banners in honour of his two pet golden retrievers.
And at Tottenham’s new stadium, investment bankers will be able to pay 15 grand to gawp at players in the tunnel through one-way glass; then enjoy a cheese-and-wine bar in which — according to artist’s impressions — they will sit on uncomfortable, futuristic furniture facing away from the pitch.
This used to be your game. An affordable release for the working man.
Occasionally, PR people and snake-oil ad men will tell you that it still is.
They are liars and charlatans.
MY late uncle Henry had a Leyton Orient season ticket for half a century.
And, although he didn’t take it too seriously, his support for the club largely defined him.
He’d moan the Orient always got the wrong brother. Paul Terry, John’s brother. Carl Hoddle, Glenn’s brother. Henry Hughton, Chris’ brother.
He loved that the O’s ran out to Herb Alpert’s Tijuana Taxi, a piece of music as mercifully far removed from We Will Rock You as you could ever wish to hear.
He was proud when the bitter at the Brisbane Road supporters’ club bar was acclaimed by the Campaign for Real Ale.
He’d tell you the club lost more players in the First World War than any other. And how, during a solitary top-flight season in 1962-63, they were top in August.
I thought of Henry when Orient’s chief executive Alessandro Angelieri issued a rambling and incoherent statement, seemingly aided by Google Translate, on behalf of owner Francesco Becchetti.
In it, he seemed to blame Orient’s perilous plight on fans, for staging protests which apparently forced away the ‘charismatic’ Becchetti.
Angelieri admitted, in a ho-hum kind of way, that the club might lose its 112-year membership of the Football League — three years after almost reaching the Championship.
And I thought, ‘How dare you reduce a much-loved club to this? How dare you, you incompetent, moronic, disrespectful little toe-rags’.
WEST HAM have apparently considered reporting Marseille to Fifa for ‘tapping up’ Dimitri Payet.
Meanwhile, Brentford’s co- director of football Phil Giles claims his club’s leading scorer Scott Hogan — who has been unavailable for the last three matches — has been “completely distracted” by bids from West Ham.
As the old saying goes: ‘What’s good for the goose gets the gander grassed up to Gianni Infantino.’
Reasons to be cheerful
ROD STEWART conducting the Scottish Cup draw while seemingly banjoed on Tennent’s Super. This is how you increase public interest in cup competitions. Encore.
DAN EVANS reaching the second week of a tennis Grand Slam while wearing a plain white T-shirt, looking like a bloke on the local municipal courts trying to stick to a New Year’s resolution.
DAVE RYDING becoming the first British skier in 35 years to finish second in a World Cup race. And everyone of a certain age humming the Ski Sunday theme, while pining for David Vine.
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